How the Cones do Thanksgiving Turkey

Everyone has a methodology for preparing a Thanksgiving turkey.  Our method is not original with us; we received it from friend Phyllis Wolf (now Phyllis Flood) in 1966.  But we've used it faithfully ever since and have enjoyed perfect, delicious turkeys (for Thanksgiving and otherwise) ever since.

The advantage of our method (we're through giving credit to Phyllis; it's been more than sixty years, for goodness sakes!) is that it's so easy.  No basting or otherwise fiddling with the bird.  Just do what we say, put it in the oven and forget it until time to carve.

Here's how it's done:

  • Buy a Swift's Butterball Turkey of appropriate size.  Yes, it will probably work with any turkey but we don't take chances!

  • Obtain two paper grocery bags.  One will do if you have a small bird and a small roasting pan, but we always seem to need two.

  • If frozen, let the bird thaw; we put in the sink over night and that usually does it.

  • Pre-heat your oven to 325°

  • Remove the two plastic bags containing the neck, giblets and other parts; discard if that's your style, use the giblets in gravy otherwise.

  • Rinse out both cavities until no longer bloody; only takes a minute.

  • Put the turkey in the roasting pan; we use the string that comes with the Butterball under the bird to make lifting out of the pan later so much easier

  • Stuff both cavities with the stuffing of your choice.  Gael's sausage stuffing is delicious and we've never used anything else; click HERE for her stuffing recipe -- but feel free to use whatever you like.

  • Rub the bird with butter or margarine.  It's kinda messy but helps achieve the truly glorious color you'll see at the end of the process.

  • Now for the part you're not going to believe:  Slide the turkey, pan and all, into a paper grocery bag.  Slide the bag onto the turkey/pan from either end.  Now slide another paper grocery bag over the turkey/pan from the other end.  Make sure you can feel the end of the pan at the end of each bag.  The bags overlap; right?

  • Put the whole bag/turkey/pan/bag assembly into the pre-heated oven.  Make sure the oven rack is set in such a way that the paper bags do NOT contact the coils at the top of the oven.  An inch or so is plenty of room at the top.

  • Set the timer for the recommended number of hours on the turkey wrapper (you DID remove the turkey wrapper, right?)

  • Wait.

That's it.  You're done.  I know it seems like a gypsy fortune-telling trick; you cover up the turkey, put it in the oven and don't look at it again until the timer runs out.  Yep; that's it.

When the timer goes off, remove the bag/turkey/pan/bag assembly and set it on the counter top.  Wait five minutes and then tear the bag off the bird.  You'll find a beautifully brown, crisp skin, moist turkey awaiting the knife.

And, as a Thanksgiving bonus, your oven will be clean (assuming it was when you started!)

Slice and enjoy!  Oh, and the stuffing inside the bird will be perfect, too.